6 Activities to Help Process Grief
When someone close to us dies, we experience grief. Grief is raw, emotional, messy and complicated. It’s not a linear process but instead comes in waves. This unpredictability can make it difficult to navigate and process our grief.
We often feel stuck in our grief and can’t find our way through it. We may be left feeling helpless and powerless.
However, engaging in tangible activities can help us connect with our grief in a deeper way that allows us to engage with our emotions, experiences and memories of our loved one. Below are six activities that can help you find presence and reflection in your grief.
1. Hold a ritual
Although you may have already attended a memorial service or funeral for your loved one, creating a personal ritual in your own home can offer a space to process your grief and let your emotions out privately. If you have other family members or friends who you want to include in your ritual, invite them.
Ask them to bring something to read or share if you wish. Structure your ritual however feels right to you. The other activities listed in this article can be done during this special time or as standalone activities. A few suggestions for inclusion in your ritual are:
Lighting candles and/or incense
Meditate for a few minutes and focus on a specific memory you share with your deceased loved one during this meditation
Read aloud a poem of your choosing
Eat favorite foods or a favorite meal of your loved one
Create a small altar with photos of your loved one
Talk aloud to your loved one, telling them how you feel, updating them on your life, sharing regrets and memories of your relationship
Create art
2. Writing a letter
Write a letter to your loved one and tell them how you’re feeling. Having a conversation with your loved one, even if it’s by writing a letter, can make you feel comforted. If you’re angry at them for leaving you, write that. If you’re sad that they weren’t here to watch your child turn another year older, write about that.
If you want to update them on what’s been happening in your personal life, then write that down. Whatever you’re feeling in your heart, write it. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar.
When you’re done, you may choose to keep your letter in an envelope, burn or bury it. If you don’t feel ready to release the letter yet, you might want to tuck it away in a safe place to read later or to burn/bury later.
If you’re ready to release the letter and bury or burn it then do so. You may wish to scatter the ashes somewhere special or bury it in a place that has significance for you and your loved one.
3. Make a grief playlist (and listen to it)
Create a playlist that has songs on it that remind you of your loved ones. Music has a powerful impact on our feelings and our mood. It can be as long or as short as you want.
You may wish to include songs that remind you of your loved one, songs that you two listened to together, and songs that have lyrics that speak of loss. If you are looking for more suggestions for your list, this Reddit post has an extensive comment thread of people sharing songs that spoke to them after losing a loved one.
4. Make an altar
Create a permanent space for your loved one in your home by creating an altar. In some cultures, it’s common for there to be a designated altar space in the home to honor deceased loved ones.
You may want to include battery-operated candles, incense framed photos of your loved ones, dried or fresh flowers, and some of their favorite things - whether that’s cigars, chocolate, or other personal belongings.
There are no rules and no wrong way to make an altar. This is your sacred space to honor your loved one and you can make it however feels right.
If you don’t have space for an altar, you can make a memory box or shadow box that you can display or take out of your closet when you want to honor your loved one.
5. Journal
Journaling is a powerful way to release emotions that may otherwise be trapped inside us. Sometimes we get busy with our day to day life and there’s no time to process our grief.
It’s there, stuck inside us but when we’re on autopilot we push our feelings away. Journaling allows us to take time to sit with ourselves and explore those feelings a little deeper.
Here are a few journal prompts that may help you get started.
What I miss most is…
I wish that they’d be here in the future to see…
Today I feel…
One thing I wish we could do together again is…
Write about where you feel grief in your body.
Write a list of people you can text or call when you want to reach out to someone.
Write a few ways you can take care of your emotions and show yourself love today.
6. Experience their favorite things
Another way you can honor the memory of your loved one and connect with them is to experience their favorite things. This can be as simple as buying their favorite snack or candy at the store and sitting in your car eating it while thinking of them. Maybe they have a favorite park or spot in nature they liked to visit - spend some time there thinking of them.
If there’s a favorite show or movie that they liked to watch, that’s another option. By spending time experiencing their favorite things, you keep their memory alive and also create a comforting space for your own emotions.
Final Thoughts
These activities can help you process your grief while celebrating the joy your loved one brought into your life. It’s important to allow ourselves to experience the full range of our emotions so that we can continue to move through our grief and not bottle it up inside.
Getting professional support from a grief counselor is recommended. RelationshipStore offers grief counseling services and support systems for all ages.