Examples of Negative Self-Talk (and How to Correct Them)
Negative self-talk is exhausting and hurts to experience. It gets in the way of you achieving your goals and having good mental health. Negative self-talk is the internal dialogue you tell yourself and hear in your head that undermines your confidence and self-worth.
This self-talk can also lead to anxiety, depression, and many other mental health issues. You also may notice an uptick in negative self-talk when you’re already experiencing another mental health problem such as anxiety or depression. Together, we’ll go through some of the examples of negative self-talk so that you can learn how to overcome it, improve your overall mental health and treat yourself with more kindness.
Common Examples of Negative Self-Talk
Catastrophizing: This is when you always expect the worst-case scenario to happen. For instance, if you make a mistake at work, you might think, “I’m going to get fired,” or “This will ruin my career, ” or “I’ll never get a promotion now.” Catastrophizing turns minor issues into major disasters in your mind.
Personalization: This example of negative self-talk is when you take responsibility for something that is not your fault. It might sound like: “My friend didn’t call me back because they’re mad at me,” or “My partner seems upset, it must be my fault” even though with both of these thoughts there could be other reasons for this happening that have nothing to do with you.
Black-and-White Thinking: This form of negative self-talk involves seeing situations in only two categories, such as “If I’m not a complete success, I’m a total failure,” “I ate a piece of cake; now my diet is completely ruined,” or “If we have one fight, our relationship is over.” There’s no recognition of the middle ground that exists in most situations.
Overgeneralization: When you make a broad statement based on a single event, you’re overgeneralizing. An example might be, “I failed this test; which means I’m bad at this subject and will never ever understand it,” or “My last relationship ended badly, so I'll never find someone who’s right for me.”
Labeling: This is when you give yourself a negative label. For instance, saying “I’m such a loser,” “I’m so awkward; I can’t make friends,” or “I lost my temper with my kids; I’m a bad parent.”
There are many ways that negative self-talk manifests. It’s important to recognize when we are being unkind to ourselves so that we can work to correct it. Whatever we tell ourselves internally, we start to believe. Luckily, there are many tactics you can use that can help you combat this negativity towards yourself.
Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
Addressing negative self-talk involves both recognizing it and actively working to change these harmful thought patterns. Here are some strategies to help you overcome negative self-talk:
Challenge Your Thoughts: Once you’ve noticed your negative self-talk, challenge it. Ask yourself if these thoughts are based on facts or assumptions. Replace the thoughts with ones that reflect reality better.
Reframe Your Thinking: Replace negative thoughts with positive or neutral ones. For example, instead of thinking, “I can’t do anything right,” you could reframe it to, “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it and improve.”
Practice Self-Compassion: Would you say to a friend what you’re saying to yourself? Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would say to a friend.
Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to counter your negative self-talk. Repeat affirmations like, “I am capable,” “I am worthy,” and “I can handle this,” to build a more positive internal dialogue. Incorporate positive affirmations as part of your daily routine for them to be the most effective.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Engage in mindfulness practices to help you stay grounded in the present moment. Meditation can also help calm your mind and reduce the frequency of negative thoughts.
Seek Professional Help: If negative self-talk is significantly impacting your life, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a commonly used technique that is highly effective in changing negative thought patterns.
The Benefits of Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
Whichever of these negative self-talk examples sounds like the voice in your head, you can change the negative into positive. You’ll have increased self-esteem and confidence, improved mental health, and a more positive outlook on life. You may find it easier to achieve your goals and build stronger relationships, as your internal dialogue becomes more encouraging.
Negative self-talk is a common but harmful habit that many people struggle with. By recognizing examples of negative self-talk and finding the best strategies to overcome it, you can have a more positive mindset towards yourself and your life. Remember that change takes time, and to be kind to yourself.