How to Improve Social Skills in Teens
Having well-developed or healthy social skills as a teen is crucial for success, mental health and long-term happiness. From going on a first date to making friends in a new class, having a strong set of social skills will benefit your teen in many ways.
What exactly are we talking about when we say social skills?
A few basic social skills are:
Carrying on a back-and-forth conversation
Making and maintaining eye contact while speaking to someone
Active listening - listening without interrupting and then responding back thoughtfully
Being assertive with their boundaries
Having empathy and showing that empathy to their friends
While some of these may seem like the bare minimum, the truth is that enacting these can be challenging for many adolescents. In a world that is now largely digital, many teens have spent a large portion of their life watching TV, playing video games and using their phones/tablets. While technology has its benefits and can lead to opportunities for connection, it also can lead to a decline in face-to-face interactions. Luckily, there are many ways you can help your teen improve their social skills.
How to Help Your Teen Who is Struggling Socially
Enhancing Social Skills at Home
The foundation for your teen's social skills starts at home. As a parent, you play an important role in modeling healthy social behavior. Set limits around your own screen time to encourage more face-to-face interactions. Spend quality, one-on-one time with your child. Have regular, meaningful conversations with them, listening actively and showing genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. Encourage family activities that encourage teamwork and active participation such as game nights, cooking together, or outdoor adventures. By demonstrating effective social skills and focusing on a supportive home environment, you provide your teen with a strong foundation to improve their social skills when they leave the house.
Join a Club After-School or at the Library
Making new friends can be a good way to practice social skills. One of the easiest ways to make friends is to connect with like-minded people. This can be done by honing on what your teen loves to do. After school clubs offer a chance for your teen to be social in a non-scholastic environment. If your child is homeschooled or doesn’t have an interest in what’s offered at their school, look into your local library programs. Libraries often have clubs or monthly activities that are geared specifically towards teeangers. When your teen has a shared interest with a group of people, it makes it much easier for them to improve their social skills in this environment.
Get a Mentor
Having other trusted adults in their life who are not their parents or teachers can enhance a teen’s social skills. A mentor can provide a different perspective, offer guidance, and share life experiences that teens might not receive from their immediate family or school environment. During adolescence, teens are exploring their identity and trying to understand who they are beyond the family unit. This is an important time for personal development, and having a mentor can help them navigate this journey. This relationship can build confidence and independence, as teens learn to relate to adults outside their family and school context. A few well-known mentoring organizations include Big Brothers Big Sisters, the Boys and Girls Club of America, and the YMCA.
Volunteer
Volunteering allows teens to step outside their comfort zones and interact with people who are outside of their age range and usual social circles. Making intergenerational connections in the community can enhance your teen’s social skills. When they choose somewhere to volunteer, make sure that it aligns with their interests. There are so many places in the community that welcome volunteers - helping the environment (river and park clean-ups), helping the unhoused (food pantries, soup kitchens, shelters), working with animals (animal shelters, rescue organizations), and even at your local library.
Engage in Community Spaces or Local Politics
Encouraging your teen to engage in community activities and local politics can help them realize they are part of something bigger and give them a deeper sense of belonging. By paying attention to local issues, attending city council meetings, participating in community activities , or joining youth advisory boards, teens can make a meaningful impact in their community. These activities provide opportunities to interact with others who share a passion for civic engagement. Participating in community-oriented activities helps teens develop a sense of responsibility and empowerment, teaching them that their voice matters. This involvement nurtures a connection to their local area, improves their social skills, and helps them feel more valued within their community.
In Summary
Helping your teen strengthen their social skills is an effort that starts at home and extends into the community. Encourage them to join clubs, find mentors, volunteer, and engage in the community to build meaningful connections. When you model healthy social behaviors, you lay the groundwork for your teen to develop strong, positive relationships outside of the home. Working with a counselor or coach can also help them identify their strengths and practice building social skills. All of these experiences will not only enrich their social skills but also help them realize their role in a larger community, giving them a sense of belonging and empowerment.
